There’s one word I’d like you to consider removing from your horse training vocabulary: obstinate.

Why? Because every time you label a horse as obstinate, you invite frustration into the endeavor. You position yourself against the horse when you assume defiance. More often than not, the horse is simply confused—uncertain about what you’re asking or unclear about why you’re asking it.

What word you choose defines your own experience and attitude. Change your words and you can change your experience.

Now, here's the truth: changing your attitude doesn’t necessarily mean things will go faster. You won’t suddenly save hours of training time just because you swapped “obstinate” for “confused.” Progress may still be slow. But what will change is your experience—and that’s everything.

When you start from a place of grace instead of judgment, from curiosity instead of condemnation, the entire journey feels lighter. You become more patient, more perceptive, and yes, even more effective. The horse may still hesitate or resist, but you’ll meet that resistance with wisdom and patience instead of frustration.

Let me say this clearly: life is too short to make frustration your home-base emotion every time things don’t go the way you want. Horses are going to challenge your plans. That’s part of the deal. But you get to choose how you meet those moments. Will you let irritation take the reins? Or will you anchor yourself in grace and allow space for unwanted initial outcomes, followed by slow, but elegantly earned results.

​Your attitude matters. Not just for your horse—but for you too. It paints your entire experience.