What's Your Story?

We all have stories we tell ourselves. They inform us regularly about who we are, what we want, and what we are capable of.

If you're around a person enough, you find the storied patterns—the constant self-reminders about health, weight, money, resources, family, partners, kids, self-confidence, fears, etc. A positive person tells positive stories. A negative person tells negative stories.

My story was once not so good. And occasionally I find little old stories creeping back into my conversations. I have to check those from time to time. Luckily, I have family members that help check those in—all with love and kindness.

I had self-esteem stories of not being good enough, not being smart enough, not being healthy enough, fast enough, not bold enough, not confident enough, etc.

Now I have better stories—and people that help reinforce those stories. It’s not always perfect and takes some serious effort to keep the good in and the bad out. But stories matter. They matter as much as anything you've ever tried. They dictate your decisions. They drive your ideas. They bring home your outcomes. They are the difference between the life you want and the life you have.

So here's the hard part: stories are hard to hear—at least your own stories. You have to learn to pay attention to phrases, complaints, or negative feelings. You need to log those moments and journal and discover the patterns. When you do, you can interrupt the patterns and insert new ones.

Once I finally heard myself say, “I can’t afford it,” I heard it. I finally heard it. It’s not a math problem; it’s an emotion. I can afford anything I need and, eventually, anything I want. The emotion of can was overruled by can’t. When I heard it, I stopped it. And finally changed it. I had to stop it many times. I'd almost laugh every time I heard it in the beginning. It was so pervasive.

It happens to all of us: “I don’t have time.” “I can’t afford it.” “Nobody cares about me.” “I’ll never be able to do it.” There are many variations. I wonder what your variations are. What's your story? And more importantly, what's the story that will change it all for you?

Stories matter. Your stories matter. Let's change what needs to change and move toward our dreams.

​Don Jessop