If you own a horse and you’re not leasing or borrowing a horse, you’re susceptible to one interesting phenomenon I call the “my horse syndrome.”

I bet you can guess where I’m going with this. Typically, when you’re working with someone else’s horse you act kindly. And you also set better boundaries. In other words, you’re more balanced in your communication.

If you own your horse, you start to let things slide. Little things. Things like dragging a bit while leading, or ears back when feeding, or not standing for saddling. You sort of compromise because it’s not a huge deal and you know the limits and it’s not causing you distress, not really.

As you can surmise, this behavior, this letting small things slide, becomes problematic over time. You may not even notice you’re letting things slide until someone else rides your horse and you find yourself trying to coach them on exactly how to talk to your horse. And you notice how your horse is misbehaving for them and you first assume it’s their poor communication. Finally, you realize it’s your horse. You haven’t properly taught your horse how to be for different people or novice people.

As a trainer, I’m athletic and balanced. I’m patient and firm at just the right times. I work to be “perfect” for the horse. But this has some basic problems. Number one, you can’t be perfect, obviously. Number two, my perfect-ish timing doesn’t set the horse up for someone who isn’t as athletic or patient or firm.

In other words, my horse, if I’m not careful, will become dialed into me and not be prepared for you. It’s an interesting mental exercise to consider how to prepare your horse for someone else. This mentality creates clarity that few people realize. And it can transform your whole horsemanship experience.

So here is my question to you. What little things have you decided to let go in your relationship with your horse? Leading quality, feeding behavior quality, grooming or saddling quality, crooked lines while riding, dropping the shoulder, impulsiveness or laziness?

Now, if you have a few clues, what could you start practicing to help your horse be better, not just for you, but for someone else, like a small child or elderly rider? Or a novice rider?

Your horse is safe with you, knows you, listens to you. Will he or she also listen to me? It’s an interesting question that could help bolster your foundation and communication for a bright future.

Thanks for reading,

​Don Jessop