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Don't throw me away

Don Jessop

Frontier wasn’t crazy. At least that’s what I kept telling myself as I watched him bounce away from ground zero like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh, just after dumping me.

That's how it was with him. You had to be perfect. One wrong move and he wasn’t just moving, he was launching me into orbit. That’s the thing nobody tells you when you bring home a powerful, sensitive horse: there’s a tipping point where forward stops being helpful and starts becoming dangerous.

I’ve felt it with more than one horse, but Frontier made me face it. Once his emotions surged past a certain line, I wasn’t riding him anymore, I was barely surviving up there, begging him with my soul: please… don’t throw me away.

So, what do you learn from a horse like that?

1. Chip away at energy, don’t blast it

Plenty of folks will say, “Just trot it out of him” or “burn off some steam.” That might work on a dull horse, but a sharp one like Frontier just gets fitter, faster, and more explosive. Instead, I started breaking the worry cycle with micro movement: one step forward, stop. One side step, stop. One spin of the hindquarters, breathe. Movement, but only just enough. Tiny physical asks paired with long emotional pauses.

2. Teach the sacred art of stay

Standing still isn’t laziness, it’s emotional control. I treated it like a gymnastic event. At first Frontier could stand for two seconds. Then three. Then, if I blinked, he was gone again. No anger. No drama. Just reset and go back to two seconds. The moment I got consistent two-minute stands out of him, everything else got easier, bridling, saddling, mounting… riding without feeling like I was about to be launched.

3. Scratch below the surface

With a hot reactor like Frontier, I chose less kicking and more scratching. Literally. I’d ask for a stand or micro movement… and then rub his withers or belly like he’d just won the Kentucky Derby. Relaxation became the reward — not just stop doing what I told you but feel good while doing it.

4. Layer pressure like you’re making phyllo dough

Not slamming it down like biscuit batter. Soft ask, wait. Slightly firmer ask, wait. Slight correction, wait. I wanted him thinking, “If I stay soft, he’ll stay soft.” Instead of, “If I move too fast, he’s gonna rope me into a hurricane.” Trust doesn’t come from strength. It comes from restraint.

5. Celebrate the small wins like they’re Super Bowls

The first time Frontier blinked while standing still, I nearly threw a party. The fiftieth time he sighed after a micro movement, I knew he was letting me in. The once-unrideable powerhouse was learning a new skill: tolerance. And here’s the twist… once he learned to stay small and with me, I could finally ride the big things without fear of being left in the dust.

Frontier taught me that horses don’t need to be perfect, they need to feel safe staying with their rider when their mind wants to run away.

Got a horse who’s tempted to throw you away when things get intense?

Want help keeping the connection through the chaos?

​I’m here for you. Start coaching today.

Don Jessop - Blog Welcome

Hi! I'm Don Jessop

With Mastery Horsemanship

I write to Inspire, Educate and Encourage You with Your Horse and Your Personal Journey.

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