I've got dozens of articles referencing frustration as enemy number one when it comes to leadership. Rather than rehash the science, let's dig into the solution.

I'll begin with a story. A gift from my mother at thirteen years old, when I transferred from a private school to a public school with nearly ten times the student body.

"People come in a huge variety," she said. "You'll meet nice people and mean people. You will encounter people who want to bully you and laugh at you. What you do, when it happens, matters."

My developing brain absorbed her wisdom easily. It wasn't until I was a late teen that I temporarily thought I was the wiser one. Funny how we cycle in and out of confidence and insecurities, isn't it?

What she said next shaped my future in a thousand different ways. "Laugh with them."

"Laugh with them."

That tool gave me power in a seemingly powerless situation. Inevitably, I did encounter critics and bullies, as anyone in school does. And true to form, her wisdom transformed every situation from problematic to playful.

The same tool exists in the presence of horses. A forced laugh, a shoulder shrug and a sigh, or playful banter between you and your frustrated self. It all leads to harmony instead of chaos.

I'm amazed at how much better my horse does. How much sooner we accomplish challenges, all because I remember to laugh at the obvious pain rather than complain or fight it.

If my horse doesn't load in the trailer, I laugh that knowing laugh. "Of course you pick today to not load. You're such a card. Let's try again."

Imagine the outcome if I said, "What the hell is wrong with you? You know this!"

When you're scared, it's harder to laugh, but with practice, even that becomes a useful time to push anger aside and invite irony instead.

A horse can't know everything. Even when they've done it before, they may be confused about the "why" part. Knowing there is lingering confusion allows more time to be kind and playful about progress rather than try to beat it out of them.

So, thank you, Mom. Your wisdom carries on.

Enjoy your equine friends, dear friends. Learn to enjoy them even when the opposite seems natural.  ​Don