Don’t confuse confidence with concentration.

Sometimes a trainer will assume the horse is unconfident when it’s actually struggling to focus. Rewarding focus instead of bravery could change everything.

Don’t confuse fear with reactivity.

Sometimes a trainer will assume all reactivity is fear-related when, often, it’s play, excitement, distraction, or even pain. Reading the situation correctly could change everything.

Don’t confuse calm with responsive.

Sometimes a trainer will assume that because the horse is calm, they are also ready, only to be surprised by negative reactivity when they ask for simple things. Asking a calm horse to stay responsive can prevent all kinds of issues.

Don’t confuse flag work with pushing or driving a horse.

Often, a new horse person, and sometimes even traditional riders, confuse flag work with driving and therefore refuse to ride around someone carrying a flag. It’s best to train your horse to understand that a flag is just a flag. It’s not a torture tool.

Don’t confuse persistence with abuse.

Sometimes, especially on video, trainers are condemned for showing persistence during training. If it doesn’t happen quickly, it’s often judged as abusive. But persistence is not abuse or even unsafe, especially when it’s laced with rewards along the way.

Don’t confuse techniques with timing and feel.

Sometimes a trainer will talk about techniques and refer to good or bad ones. The truth is, the technique rarely matters as much as the timing and feel of the trainer. Even lesser techniques can work well when a trainer is rewarding and persistent. Often, riders look for better techniques too soon, before they develop timing and feel with the tools they already have. Changing your feel could change everything.

Don’t confuse cuddly with rude.

Sometimes a horse owner will allow a horse to cuddle up close or move in when they’re nervous. Either is okay, so long as you can also send them back and set boundaries anytime, even during scary moments. If you can’t do that, you’re allowing your horse to take over and disregard your leadership.

Don’t confuse fear with a lack of patience.

Sometimes a trainer backs off a task to calm what they think are the horse’s nerves when, actually, it’s not nerves but impatience bubbling up. Horses can get bored, and rewarding boredom can become dangerous. It’s best to reward patience and focus during a task. In other words, don’t quit too soon.

Don’t confuse rewards with relaxation.

Relaxation can be a reward, but it’s often not enough, not if you want to excel. Some trainers avoid meaningful rewards, and some horses need that approach. But other horses need something more. We don’t want to be dictators. We also want a pattern of mutual growth, where fun and safety are closely linked.

Don’t confuse playful with patient.

Sometimes a trainer assumes that because the horse is curious and engaged, they are also ready for the task. They often inadvertently reward playfulness when patience is what’s really needed. Standing still at the mounting block isn’t just about still feet. It’s also about a quiet mind. Not a nibbling, nosey, curious mind. A quiet mind.

Don’t confuse friendship with leadership.

If I could simplify the challenges in horsemanship, it would go like this. Performance and traditional trainers often leave out rewards, making work feel like indentured servitude. But on the flip side of the coin, natural and novice riders sometimes assume friendship alone leads to a great working partner.

The truth lies somewhere in the middle. Be a great friend, but don’t assume friendship is enough in a chaotic environment. For that, you’ll need leadership and repetitive simulations to build safe, effective understanding.

Last but not least…
Don’t confuse advice with good advice.

The best trainers leave out their ego and listen for your needs and your horse’s needs. Seek help from people who’ve explored a wide range of horsemanship, and don’t assume a confident trainer is also a competent trainer.

Thanks for reading, dear horse enthusiasts.

I hope to meet you on this amazing journey of mastery. ​Don