This may be the hardest article I have ever written because I am going to attempt to highlight something important without alienating any one person’s experience.

An impossible task perhaps. But here goes.

A horse and horseman or horsewoman develop a specialized language together through normal day-to-day interactions and new challenging tasks. As this language evolves something unexpected begins to happen. Inevitably the partnership enters an impassable challenge. It could be loading in a trailer, mounting for the first time, learning to canter, your first flying change, etc. Regardless of the task, the truth is, it is something that tests the relationship and the language you share.

When riders or trainers or owners enter this phase something equally unexpected happens. The innate personal preference surfaces for each person. One person backs off the task, afraid to injure the growing relationship. One person persists and pushes too hard, incorrectly diagnosing the problem as stupidity or obstinate behavior. One person floats somewhere in the middle, daring to persist but proving patience and kindness throughout.

We have all had experiences that mirror all or some of the above. We have all explored cracks in the barriers hoping to break through and earn the new task. And we have all experienced failures and successes. There is no right or wrong, just learning. And one thing I have learned just so happens to be the hardest thing to teach.

I call it "compassion in the pressure."

When you ask a horse to do something he finds challenging, his reactions can create anger or empathy. Ride the line of empathy and discover you are not prepared to challenge your horse. Ride the line of anger and discover your horse is too vulnerable to trust you tomorrow.

An empath will sense the horse’s confusion, interpret it as discomfort, and associate pain. This causes the person to back off completely, taking pain out of the relationship.

An angry person will sense the horse’s confusion as disobedience and shove the horse through the designed hoops of training until they comply, ultimately earning compliance, albeit resentful.

The path in the middle is our path. It is the path where pressure is not pain, just discomfort. Learning is not always fun. Education requires tests and growth. But without compassion it is just abuse. The trainer must want the horse to love learning and be willing to experience times where learning is hard but it is okay because the rewards will come and the bond will be reinforced.

Imagine a teacher that you loved in school. The one that loved you too and it was apparent. But still he or she tested you, still he or she challenged you. And still some days really seemed hard. But overall, you cherish that unique experience. That is what we attempt to offer our horses. We must have compassion in the pressure.

Ask a horse to do nothing and experience the bliss of not worrying about how they will react.
Ask a horse to do something but allow her the opportunity to passively get it wrong, find the right, and feel rewarded.
Or ask a horse to do something they do not want to do and be compassionate in the pressure you apply.
Or force a horse to do what you want regardless and demand compliance.

We must learn to be disciplined and loving in one human-shaped package. That is our goal. If we lack discipline, we fall short of dynamic horse human activities. If we lack empathy, we fall short or humane treatment. We must somehow learn to be both disciplined and loving.

Thanks for reading and sharing.
Don Jessop