In practice, passengers go along for the ride, allowing the horse to determine the direction and speed. Pilots pre-plan and coordinate the outcomes before, and even as, they come.

In chaos, passengers react by crouching down, folding up, and trying to hang on until the crash happens. Pilots grab the reins and direct the potential chaos toward a smoother landing, often preventing a crash altogether.

In general riding, passengers assume the horse's emotions trump their own, yielding to how the horse "feels" in hopes that it will begin to feel better soon.

Pilots, in contrast, understand emotion but direct it and redirect it to ultimately change how the horse feels through communication instead of passive yielding. In other words, pilots don't just give in. They hold the space and shape the space.

During downtime, passengers allow the horse to take over, mosey into bad positions, or maybe step on their toes or someone else's. Pilots, in contrast, give recesses consciously, allowing certain freedoms but not all freedoms.

A good pilot is kind and considerate, understanding and compassionate, but not confused to the point of yielding to the whims of the horse. The pilot knows the leadership role. The passenger often yields leadership to the horse.

So here's the question. Where do you yield leadership to the horse when you wish you wouldn't? And if you don't, could you soften your leadership style in some areas, too?

Balanced leadership is the ability to be a compassionate pilot: smooth and elegant, practiced and intelligent.

I would hope every horse owner and rider would strive to become this balanced leader and a great pilot.

To your success, ​Don