I'll be the first to say, I've looked around and noticed how others are doing better than me. That's normal by everyone's standards, but what happens next is a big, big, big deal.
Option 1: Look around and notice how others are doing and be driven to do better yourself. We call this option... "Feeling inspired!"
Option 2: Look and notice how others are doing better than you and beat yourself up. We call this option... "Feeling not good enough!"
There is a third option, one rarely ever talked about but pretty important.
Option 3: Notice, celebrate their success, and move along in your happy go lucky life without any pressure to change, because you are content on your path. On top of that... you may see past the glamour of someone's success to the reality of the cost of that success and further be content with your path because, your path is healthy.
Most people choose option 2. Why? Well, because most people are humans, and humans tend to look for reason not to do something rather than reasons to do it. Why? Because humans are avoidaholics by nature. It's a protection instinct. But nature doesn't have to rule the day. We are also capable of great things. Capable of options 1 or 3. Some people choose those positive outlooks naturally. Others, like myself, had to learn to choose those options. Focusing on those options requires energy, effort and practice. Settling with the limiting belief that you're "not good enough" is easy. TOO EASY. And very harmful for a productive life.
Honestly, we could go on and on about why we choose to feel "not good enough." Let's focus instead on why we should choose to feel the opposite, and then... "how" to choose the opposite.
10 Reasons why you should feel good enough.
1. You're alive. Most people aren't any more. Take that one to heart.
2. You're struggling. What does struggling mean? It means you care. If you aren't struggling it means you aren't trying. If you aren't trying, you're dying.
3. You're better than you were before. No one goes backwards with practice (except golfers). And even they progress year to year in one way or another.
4. Because you bring to this world what no one else can. We are all unique. Don't forget that.
5. Success isn't measured on a standard scale. It looks different for everyone. So, on your own scale, not compared to others, you're doing great.
6. Negative self talk got you where? Oh yeah... nowhere! So, feeling good enough has a new positive charge that can get you somewhere great!
7. You're beautiful. If you don't believe me, you will. Practice hearing the truth and you will.
8. You're talented. I know you're talented because you're listening now. Most people these days struggle to read anything. It's all audio, video, etc. Look at you, focused all the way to step 8. That's raw talent! 😀
9. You're capable. Look how far you've come. Yeah, there's a lot more to go. But don't forget your beginnings.
10. You're not alone. Everyone feels alone until they listen to the hero's journey. Every hero struggled. Every hero doubted. Every hero practiced. Every hero broke through to a brighter future.
Now we've got compelling reasons to feel "enough." Now let's jump into the "how" part of feeling good enough.
First, you've got to identify and change the quality of your "I am" statements. Stop haphazardly throwing around "I am not good enough." "I am alone." "I am a loser." "I am slow." "I am ugly." What's your list of negative I Am statements? If you don't know all the negative statements you speak regularly, journal. START RIGHT NOW! Journal your "I am" statements.
Here's an interesting personal fact... When I took the challenge to journal every "I am" statement that escaped my mouth for 24 hours. I noticed most of them were very negative. Only a few positive "I Ams," like "I am gonna get this done today." To think, I'm on a good track in my life with only a few good "I Ams." Imagine if I had more. So, I started changing my negatives to positives and guess what... I am more capable than ever before.
In the beginning I didn't believe it, but I practiced and started believing it more and more. And my experience, is normal. Most people willing to take the "I Am" challenge will soon realize their language is setting them up for failure, not success. Identify with positive language patterns. It's your best foot forward in this endeavor to feel good enough.
Next. Develop a healthy relationship with rejection. This means, hearing "no, not good enough, needs better, what's wrong with you, this won't cut it, etc. etc. etc." doesn't have to knock you down and send you back to level one every time. Some people learn to handle rejection. Guess which people learn this? The ones that practice handling it. Get together with someone you trust and practice responding progressively to the word "no." or the phrase, "not good enough." Combat the phrase with truth and energy. Combat with data and reinforced evidence. Combat with a cool head and calm demeanor because you know that believing limiting things about yourself is useless.
Watch for comparisons that don't serve and comparisons that do. In other words, don't always look up. Look sideways and down from time to time. You make more money than a lot of people. You're a better dancer than some who've practiced longer. You're better off than others, just look around. That's not to gloat. That's to build the muscle of gratitude. And feeling grateful for the gifts you have is one huge leap forward to feeling good enough. Realizing you're lucky by looking around and seeing how well off you are compared, is magic for the soul.
Last... go easy on yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day.
Are you good enough?
Good enough for what
Especially, that thing that you're struggling with now. Whether it's your image, your family, your animals, your relationships, you name it. You are good enough! I've said it. Now you say it. Begin the journey of believing in your power and resilience instead.
Comment below. You know I love to hear your thoughts.
Join our coaching program and get constant support because we know how important that "why" is (reasons to believe), and the "how" (strategy), but also the "who" is important. Who you spend time with greatly increases your chances of breaking past your limits.
We believe in you! Don
With Mastery Horsemanship
I write to inspire, educate and encourage you on your horse and personal journey.
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